Black Monday

It had been one of those typical Mondays until noon. Who ever thought that twelve o'clock noon could be called the Devil's Hour but yesterday that is when it started. My breakdown. I was taught early on to not visit your unhappiness on other people...just because you're miserable doesn't mean they have to be. But, if I had someone to talk to.. maybe I wouldn't turn into a living helium balloon. Things you are taught very young stay with you as you age and quietly embed themselves into your soul without your consent. It is what you do when the bad lessons come to the surface that really matters. Everyone needs someone at sometime for some reason and to deny yourself that necessary moment is to deny someone else of coming to your aid, of doing a good deed, or the chance to come to you. I hereby announce my most sincere effort to be more open and forthright, to tell others how I feel instead of staying silent. I will say "no" to things more firmly and do my best not to talk around the block instead of talking straight up the path. I will "try" to believe you don't have to be nice 24 hours a day, but I have my doubts as to being successful. Why can't you be nice 24 hours a day? I don't believe there is a time or justification for rudeness, abruptness and disrespect to name a few. You can be firm and steadfast but nice about it; you can rebuke a wrong, engage in verbal debate, confront a negative moment but you never have to become part of the dark side. It is amazing what calm assertion can do.
I had a bad day as a result of a bad few weeks. Instead of easing through each downturn I hid it away and forced it down until I let it show and made others quite uncomfortable. That was what I wanted to avoid all along.