MY TINY CAMELOT

they called him
ken,
he who made
me-
delivered by mom
flo.
he wandered
away,
she drank and
broke.
down they went,
clueless to
us-
my brother
and me.
a car ride
i recall, to
hell -
a foster
home
of evil;
then came
jack
on tv.
i watched and
named him
ken in my
heart, but
Kennedy
was the truth.
where ken was
gone,
i saw jack.
the smile
and hair the
same. one
gone-
the other
on tv.
a few years
later,
someone killed
my dad on tv.
ken died
in 1993.
it's November
again -
1963 stained me.
no one knew
jack was my
dad
but me.
my tiny
Camelot
in a sad
season.
i miss him
still.

@copyright 11/24/2009 Kathy Thayne Herman

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

It has been one of those days, nothing to write home about but a grumble under the breath for no particular reason. I'll blame it on the kink in my neck. They always make me ornery in a way no other discomfort does; it makes you look and feel gratingly whacked!
I got my H1N1 vaccine shot this morning; the free shot cost me $10.00. On the flip side, the shot my daughter got was painful for her and as prepared as I was to grimace - I barely felt the needle and have no pain at all hours later. Tit for tat.
Face book, normally temperamental anyway, has been downright combatant today. I can't sign in on the first try, can't post on the first try, took several friends and sent them into Hide, and keeps saying I can't do this and I can't do that. After 5 hours of this, neither has called a truce.
Well, this is enough of a rant to have done some good. Neck is still kinked but the heating pad is warmed up, Tylenol is ready and my orneriness seems to have mellowed. Goodnight!

TAKE / MOMENT / HE WALKS POEMS

TAKE THEM BACK
take them back,
those words.
take them
to a
place
as dark
and cold
as my heart
felt
when your
words
broke it.

A MOMENT PLEASE
Sorry,
but a moment
please,
just a moment
to pick me up
off the floor,
salvage and
assemble the pieces
before you walk away.
@copyright 2009 Kathy Thayne Herman

HE WALKS
he walks
in a way
that
warms my loins;
he strides
long and lean.
he steps in
rhythm to
my pulsing
anticipation.
he stops
a breath away
and holds me
in his
magnificence.

@copyright 2009 Kathy Thayne Herman

PILLOWS MAKE POOR SHOULDERS

When I say I'm sick
and want to be left alone
I don't really mean alone -
if it leaves me by myself
hearing the echo of my cries
and feeling my fruitless tears
run down my face
without your gentle touch
to wipe them dry.
Pillows make poor shoulders.
They can't wrap around me
quite the way you do
nor whisper tender words
of love and consolation.
Next time I'm sick
and want to be left alone -
come closer
and wrap your arms around me.

@copyright 2009 Kathy Thayne Herman

NO WORDS

Ask no words of me
for now -
at least until
my mind can reason
without
useless bursts of emotion.
Allowing silence
to calm my weary soul
is the comfort I need but
at only *this* moment,
knowing as it ends
is where you begin
and my words
will rush into you.

@copyright 2009 Kathy Thayne Herman

MY METEOR SHOWER STORY

I'd heard about the meteor showers to occur tonight and was excited to watch them, hearing they may not appear like this for another 33 years. It got me thinking. The first shooting star I ever saw was when I was but 8 yrs old laying on the lawn with some relatives I didn't know who lived in Ogden Canyon. I was more afraid of snakes and cougars, bears and wolves than this tribe of ne'er do wells so I focused on the sky. It didn't take long before IT happened. The brightest star I'd ever seen shot out and flickered bright heading straight to earth. It was the coolest thing since bloodying Paul Rasmussen's nose when he cheated in tether ball. Frozen in my brain I never saw another til my 13th birthday party sleep out with 8 other girls I'd just met in my new and wonderfully safe Foster Home. This time I was only afraid of garden snakes and Peeping Toms (had encounters in Kearns) so I again focused on the sky. It took a little longer but as the others slept and tossed, there it was! Not one, not two, but three of the most perfect shooting stars fell earthward as synchronized as the 4th of July!
Throughout the years there have been a couple small ones I've seen while driving up the canyon to go fishing or on a late night drive but none sparked the sense of wonder and delight. I had totally expected to capture that tonight. BUT...
I get my coat and gloves on and go outside at midnight looking to the easterly skies and wait..and wait. After about 45 min I knew I needed my polar bear coat to keep warmer so went inside. Now I haven't worn the coat for a year so it was deep in the closet and I needed to stretch my reach and as I did so my foot came down on a lost, small Halloween chocolate bar that acted as an ice patch and down I went into the closet bringing coats and sweaters and hangers down on top of me as I lay squished on my shoes and boxes. A few ouches and grunts later I backed up and out with "the" coat in hand. A bruised side, knee, hand and ego did not keep me from racing back outside to watch for the meteor shower.
Warm in my better coat with hood and gloves I stood atop the driveway gazing right to left in anticipation. After about 15-20 minutes I heard a low, calm voice say, "You move another step closer and I'll blow your head off!" Big pause as my brain scrambled. "Danny?" Another big pause... "Kathy? What are you doing out there?" At the moment it sounded awfully stupid. "I'm watching for meteors." "Oh, ok" was all he said out the dark window. I then decided how grateful I was for the internet and how many times I could watch the meteor shower in the safety of my warm, safe home and went inside.

MY BROTHER, MY FRIEND

My dearest Lord,
how patient and kind,
how ever-understanding,
tolerating the weak
and complicated me.
You see beyond
my mask and
happy pretense
while inner heart is breaking
and, with arms wrapped
snug around myself
My soul reaches out
to wrap myself around you.
Your righteous garment
could protect me from
the hurt or temptation
the pain and the grief.
Yet, You stand back to
Whisper in my ear -
warm consolation and
promises of strength.
And with the breath of
Your clean, holy air
I renew, regain myself-
committed to guide my life
home bound to You -
My Brother, My Friend.
How can I ever fail
with you beside me?

@copyright 2009 Kathy Thayne Herman